My daughter Ms. Makeda, co-host of our Get Your Chocolate On podcast, said something to me last summer that has been simmering all these months!

We were on a writing retreat in the Green Mountains of Vermont, and she shared her free-write:

"Forgiveness is a signpost... not the destination."

I've been testing, pressing, wondering about this truth these many months!

Here's what is opening up:

When I make forgiveness my destination, there's an element of "should' or "force" in it.

Even when I...

If you'd like to try praying, I have two recommendations:

First, I use a forgiveness prayer when I feel hooked or tied up by blame and shame.  I've used it especially when I am ping ponging between blaming the other party and blaming myself.  I've used it at home and in the world.  I recommend you watch how Dr. Hew Len teaches the practice Ho'oponopono. 

You can also download my recitation of this prayer here.  It is short and sweet and good to say on a...