Forgiveness is a signpost... not the destination.

forgiveness Mar 17, 2022

My daughter Ms. Makeda, co-host of our Get Your Chocolate On podcast, said something to me last summer that has been simmering all these months!

We were on a writing retreat in the Green Mountains of Vermont, and she shared her free-write:

"Forgiveness is a signpost... not the destination."

I've been testing, pressing, wondering about this truth these many months!

Here's what is opening up:

When I make forgiveness my destination, there's an element of "should' or "force" in it.

Even when I seek to forgive myself, I feel like I'm obligated or like I'm "trying."

How many times have you "tried" to forgive someone?

Or maybe you've been told “forgive but don't forget.

What if forgiveness is the side effect of something else?

What if forgiveness is not the answer?

I've been seriously asking the divine, earth mama, and my guides to help me to see the highest level of truth--possible for me at this time.

And the answer I keep getting is:

Stretch out; un-kink yourself, so that you can expose yourself to love.

Let yourself receive love.

Just like you let the sun shine on your skin, let the love fill you and warm you.

When I'm in this space of receiving and getting filled up, I'm not holding on to anything.

I'm not the victim; I’m not the perpetrator.

Maybe this is what Rumi meant when he said:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Now if you are like me, you are not a mystic (yet).

You see the war on drugs, the war in the Ukraine, the war against covid, and you see suffering.

You see oppressors, victims, and wounded.

You want somebody to stop doing one thing and start another.

I'm with you!

But what if the solution is to cultivate your capacity to receive love and flow in love?

What if right relations can't be restored without you getting the kinks out of your flow?

What if your guilt or righteousness is not in the highest good of anybody?

Your sister in the field,




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