Yesterday I had a conversation with someone I respect in our community where ultimately we agreed AND disagreed.
We share some common values and yet have a different approach to community building.
What I noticed was that I felt nervous and jumpy before our conversation. My body was ready for fight and flight. After some mutual pleasantries, we got to the point--but what was the point?
As it turned out, I misinterpreted something she said on social media.
Ok, relief that we did not let Facebook mediate our conversation and ultimately relationship.
But nonetheless when we got to the real point, we did not agree.
I'm stirred up as I consider her point of view and her pain.
I don't know how she feels today.
But I know she planted a seed in me.
I'm searching for how and where my integrity directs me to act now.
And, I want you to know that I used the 5 steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism to have this conversation.
I did not want it to be debate or a fake polite unity.
I wanted an authentic exchange where I could share my questions and my certainty and where I could really hear her out.
We weren't talking about racism, but the principles worked.
Today here's what I noticed with the help of my mentor.
I did good. I showed up. I came with my heart open and consciously breathed into my heart.
As I breathed into my heart, the other person shared her pain which was underlying her perspective.
We shared the struggle for integrity and right action.
I did not fully share what it was like for me.
I avoided being vulnerable.
I can ask her to listen; I can ask for another conversation.
This feels scary.
I don't want to be rejected or ridiculed.
But I promised my coach that I would ask anyway because this will stretch and honor me.
I'm sharing this because even though I did not do it perfectly, I took the 5 Steps and they guided me through a conversation that scared me.
Is there a conversation you are avoiding?
is there some unfinished business that's holding you back?
Would having some simple steps help you?
I'm going to share the 5 Steps and my breakthroughs with them in an online master class: "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism."
During this class you'll learn the key to avoiding exhaustion and bitterness as a person of color.
You'll learn how to transform your fight, freeze and flight tendencies so you can stay present and empowered.
And, what to say and where NOT to say it.
This class is only an hour but it will be packed with what you can IMMEDIATELY put into action in regards to a conversation you've been putting off.
I know not everyone can make this time, so I'm going to record "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism." and make the replay available for 48 hours.
This is FREE. And it's GOOD.
If you already know that you'd like to have a PERSONAL mentor and that you're ready to have a breakthrough in having difficult conversations about racism (and other isms), please reply to this email. I'm reserving 5 spots on my calendar for FREE 1:1 sessions. You will walk away knowing why you're stuck and at least one next step you can take to have your voice.
These Breakthrough sessions are for people who are willing to say YES to themselves and invest their time, energy and money in developing their skills. Just reply to this email and I'll send you what you need to get on my schedule.
I hope to "see" you all at "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism."
Peace and love,
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