Imagine if you didn't...
- Feel like you were walking on eggshells?
- Feel frustrated because nobody is listening to you?
- Feel guilty or ashamed because you didn't speak up?
What if you could...
Overcome your fear
Speak so you could be heard
- Stop exhausting yourself
Why I Created
Transform your Conversations about Racism
-- in 5 Steps
In 2016 a white colleague Parker (made up name) asked me for a conversation about Black Lives Matter. Instead of just jumping in, I paused and decided to wait–until I felt energetically full. A bunch of high profile police killings had just happened, and I was FEELING it.
So I kept doing my self-compassion work and filling my cup.
A couple of weeks later I sought out my Parker, and we had a conversation that left us both transformed.
This conversation did not end up in a debate with our walls even higher than at the start.
The conversation did not end up with me feeling emotionally exhausted and used.
Instead I felt connected, grounded and like I loved myself.
Equally important, Parker later told me: “You changed this white boy’s life.”
So, I went back to look at what I had done in the conversation, and I saw a simple structure…
These are the 5 Steps that I teach in this course.
When you are grounded, full of self-love, and in your body--you listen differently and it affects the other person. You don't have to surrender the ground of justice, but let go of your ego.
This online course gives you a simple structure so you don't lose your voice or exhaust yourself when you have conversations about racism.
Why do we offer Group Mentoring?
We’ve taught thousands of people how to have difficult open-hearted conversations about racism.
We taught live and then to make it more accessible, we created a digital course so that you can do this on your own schedule.
However, many people have a hard time completing digital courses unless they have some regular LIVE contact.
It's Not Your Fault!
When you are applying our highly effective heart-centered program, you can get stuck or confused along the way. People tend to put a course down and then not get back to it!
Don't Let That Happen to You!
We created LIVE group mentoring as a complement to help you stay on track and get the most out of your investment.
What has proven most effective is when students have a chance to practice the concepts in a group over time. Leaders, like you, experience the best results when they have a chance to practice in a community over several weeks.
Group Mentoring is Born...
Group Mentoring was born to give you a chance to assimilate your learning and practice under the live tutelage of a mentor who has experienced many of the same challenges you are having.
They felt loved and seen and took the compassionate energy out into the world.
For example, Polly came to us because her marriage was in trouble. She and her husband disagreed so much about racism that they felt distant, angry and upset with each other. After practicing with our group, Polly was able to recover the connection and stand her ground for justice.
"I feel solid."
"I don't feel the personal despair and frustration. I speak in wonderful discussion groups (dharma and racial affinity groups), the way that I'm speaking is different. I have confidence. I think more clearly. I'm finding my lane."
It's Okay to Make Mistakes As You Learn!
Working with a partner and an experienced facilitator, we found that people did not stay stuck in shame and guilt.
If you’ve ever woken up in the middle of the night, regretting what you said or how you said it, Group Mentoring is for you. You get to bring the problem to the group, work out a new approach and then let go of the past. We help you to befriend yourself as you learn.
Mary felt so ashamed that she froze in the moment and said nothing at her community event in Maine. But with group mentoring she had a place to go and get support. Now she’s a recognized advocate.
Remember we are all human and learning. It’s okay to make mistakes as you learn!
Our Guiding Principle
When we let go of “convincing” others, transformation can occur. When we try to “overcome” their objections or fight their facts, people tend to get more rigid. In Group Mentoring you get to practice presence–being a space for transformation–without giving up the ground of justice!
What Do You Do in Group Mentoring?
Meet live monthly with an experienced Racial Justice from the Heart Facilitator and Mentor who will help you to:
- Have a safe space to grow...
- Articulate your problems and get answers...
- Serve with confidence...
- Love yourself no matter what!
You will learn to:
- Listen in a Way that Transforms the Speaker
- Stay calm even when the other person is defensive or offensive
- Speak so You Can Be Heard
- Transform your Fear & Tears into Presence
- What You Must Do to Get Ready for a Difficult Conversations
- When and How to Decline, Divert or Delay a conversation
You get 7 bite-sized modules that you can do from the app or while at your desk:
Videos, worksheets, and ongoing feedback from our team. We show real life scenarios and give you a chance to see how to turn around conversations before they go south!
Each module focuses on a step in the five step process so that you always know where you are in the course.
We recommend that you work on practicing each step in real life before moving to the next.
Here's a sneak peek of the 5 Steps!
- Check in with your Wise Self-- Intentions matter. We show you how to get physically, emotionally and spiritually ready.
- Hold Space for Transformation--Rather than avoiding certain words, we teach you how to hold space for transformation so you will automatically know what to say at any given moment.
- Lean In to Listen -- We show you how to invite sharing from the heart because that's the fastest way to change a mind.
- Ask and then share what it's like for you --Speak briefly from the heart; transform your fear into grounded and clear communication.
- Reflect on yourself--We show you how to process feelings, acknowledge yourself, and learn from your experience.
"I've been transformed..."
“I feel that I have been personally transformed. I feel that I have learned to give to myself and to acknowledge myself. This helps me to keep my cup full.”
Transform your Conversations about Racism--in 5 Steps
is for you if...
Transform your Conversations about Racism is NOT for you if ...
- You’re into us-vs-them thinking
- You think that all white people are oppressors
- You don’t want to come from the heart
- You want to shame or blame other people-- including yourself
- You have given up
People really responded … So valuable!
"The one person that I thought would push back did push back, and I felt only slightly annoyed and was able to gently redirect him.”