#018: How to Live a Surrendered Life and Trust You Are Where You’re Meant to BE: A Conversation with Jasmine Bellamy
SHOW NOTES:
A self-declared, self-love activist, Jasmine Bellamy is a corporate Vice President who has made it her business to be a “student of love.”
In this conversation, Jasmine shares why she lives a “surrendered life” and how you can do it too.
1) No fear because I've nothing to lose. If I am [following God's will}, then I will be where I am meant to be. There is no wrong place to be.
2) If I feel a nudge, e.g., to reach out to someone, I do it. (Even if I don't even know why.)
3) I was intrigued by her description of being a "student of love" -- five years of reading, searching, observing.
As the leader of culture transformation at work, she says it’s important to come to the table with our hearts and questions rather than answers. Instead let’s find answers together.
Instead of making goals and plans, Jasmine says she lives a surrendered life.
She takes at least an hour each morning to be quiet and tune into where her life is leading her.
She says, “I trust myself.”
Jasmine’s Bio
Jasmine Bellamy is a love practitioner who is a catalyst for business and culture transformation. She is the founder of Love 101 Ministries which is dedicated to the theology and practice of love and is the host of The Call to Love Experience podcast. She is also the Vice President of Merchandising, Planning, & Allocation at Reebok, the head of Reebok Culture, and the creator and co-facilitator of Courageous Conversations, a platform that engages issues of Diversity, Equity, and inclusion and inspires transformation in community.
Find out more at www.love101ministries.com
INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Amanda Aminata Sol: Welcome, Jasmine Bellamy.
[00:00:04] Jasmine: Thank you for having me, .
[00:00:06] Amanda Aminata Sol: So glad to have you. So, for those of you who haven't heard me talk about her yet, I met Jazzy while doing free yoga on the beach with hundreds of other black people last summer. We were both there, but I didn't get to, I didn't say hello to her until months later.
[00:00:25] But anyway, we were both there on that beach with Christopher Yogi Rev Sims leading an awesome class on Warrior Poses. . so Jasmine is a mom. She's a divinity student and a corporate executive who hosts a podcast called The Call to Love Experience podcast. I got to spend a few days with her at Yogi Rivers retreat in the fall, and what I can say to you is that she really is one of those people who practices love.
[00:01:04] she feels like she doesn't have an armor or like, she's not trying to people please. She's not trying to protect old molds, . I mean, she really is available, to just be herself and to be loving. And, I thought that was great and and amazing for someone who works in a Fortune 500 company to have that kind of presence, about.
[00:01:33] and, and Jazzy, I know you can tell us more about Exactly, you know, you don't have to tell us your title unless you want to, but how you work with, changing corporate culture. So that is how I know Jasmine, and I'm so excited to have this conversation with you today.
[00:01:52] Jasmine: Thank you so much for that warm introduction.
[00:01:55] you know, it's, it, I, it was perfect and I really feel like you capture. who I am, where I am on the journey right now. and to really to hear it from your lips to come straight to my heart. . . And so thank you for that. I really appreciate that introduction. . ,
[00:02:19] Amanda Aminata Sol: it's, sometimes it's really good to know how people see you or that you are being Yes.
[00:02:26] You're being seen. Yes, yes. You know, below the surface level, you know? Yeah. You're being seen. So we like to start this call off with each interviewee just telling us what's good. So what's good about life, what's good about the world, what's good about how you're feeling about your body? Any way you want to interpret that cr that question.
[00:02:47] . . What's good right now,
[00:02:50] Jasmine: man, I, I, when people ask me how I'm doing, I say I am wonderful. And it is because I'm literally full of. in awe. And so when I think about what's good, you know, I endeavor to live a life full of love. And that looks different every day. It looks different every hour. but.
[00:03:13] I know that that is what I'm doing. . And so that's what's good, like to really live a life of love is what's good. you know, I would say particularly right now, I'm a mom of two. My, Daughter just got home from college, which was wonderful. so there's, you know, I, my son is in boarding school, so I consider myself an empty nester.
[00:03:41] And so there's something very beautiful about welcoming them home. And so I got one home so far. so I'm excited about, just spending time with them and being very present with them during this, this season. So, so it's all is well with me. . , I cannot complain at. . Mm. hmm.
[00:04:03] Amanda Aminata Sol: You know, I'm going to follow up with the All
[00:04:05] Jasmine: as well with Yes.
[00:04:07] Yes.
[00:04:08] Amanda Aminata Sol: because I was, last, it was last summer, so I talked about us meeting on the beach. . and, ink Beach and Martha's Vineyard. Well, last summer, I was on a porch singing a little song called All As Well with a couple of other women, you know, and, and that song came to me in response to all the worrying, you know, that I was kind of doing, but also looking at the world if you listen to the news while you're in the car, you know?
[00:04:44] So, how do you maintain that perspective? That all is well given everything we know that's happening in the world. ,
[00:04:54] Jasmine: I would have to say that it's, it's been a very big shift for me, to really think about life from the space where I can impact it. Like what is what, how can I transform the culture that I'm in?
[00:05:12] And because I am very focused on that, I am not consumed by all the things that I can't. , you know, I was, I was actually, traveling on business last week to my alma mater and was able to sit in conversation with, some PhDs, you know, trying to solve all the world problems. And, one of them really just honestly sharing his anxiety around where the world is.
[00:05:42] And so I acknowledge that that exists. and, but, you know, but what I offered to him was this ability to think about what are, what are the things we can impact? What is within our control to do? because there is a lot to do. but if, if we lose sight of what we can do, because it, everything else feels so big, that's where the world loses out on our gift.
[00:06:11] . . so I'm, you know, I, I, my, you know, even with my kids every now and. when they'll talk about something that feels super big in front of them. And I'll share, you know, the, the little adage, you know, that people share. how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. . , you know that what we can do is what's within our control, our span of control to do.
[00:06:33] and I think sometimes why we feel overwhelmed is because we're, it, there's so much out of our control. but I, but I would say also that I just also try to live a surrendered. that I'm really focused on just being who I am and being who I am. I know that I'm bringing gifts with me, and so if, if I can commit to that, then I'm doing good things.
[00:07:00] Again, it just, it, it, it keeps me from being stressed. I used to have a, you know, I used my mind used to race on all the things that I would think all the time, and all the things I was trying to process and all the things I was trying to solve. and I really had to really focus on, working on my mind.
[00:07:22] . . and so a lot of that had to do with how I used my. And, and not losing sight of that, in, in the midst of, of a world . Doesn't mean, it doesn't mean that things become less con complex, but if I can focus on what I can contribute more so than what I can't, it, for me it's just been much more helpful for me.
[00:07:49] .
[00:07:50] Amanda Aminata Sol:
[00:07:54] Hmm. So, you know, there's so much. So much richness in what you just said, Jasmine. One of the things of course I have to follow up on is a surrendered life. I mean, just the phrase, it kind of makes me feel a little more relaxed. . . but like, is there something you do. On a daily basis to surrender your life, how
[00:08:21] Jasmine: do you do that?
[00:08:22] Yeah. well, I will say that a part of my practice, every morning I wake up, and give myself a, a really a full hour, sometimes more, depends on what's needed. and I'm just still. There's no, you know, sometimes it could be, it might be music added, so I might grab my phone just for music or I might grab my phone for a guided meditation, but most times I'm just sitting.
[00:08:51] Still, and it's allowing me to transition well from sleeping. And for me, I, I receive a lot in those moments. And so it's become really important for me to take that time really slowly so that as things are coming to me, I, I can gather myself kind of around them. and it really gives me a, a, a point of direction for the day in a lot of ways.
[00:09:19] you know, You know, a lot of times I'll get, I'll get downloads like in the middle of the night, and so I'm literally grabbing my phone and I'm writing it all down just so I don't forget. and that I can rec almost record it, so to speak. but in the mornings, like I've even had to change my whole workout routine and all of that because I just, I need to be skill in the morning.
[00:09:42] so I usually try to wake up at least a full two hours before I have to do anything. So that I give myself sufficient amount of time to be still, on a daily basis. so that's one. But I think, you know, if I. Talked about how I frame life, at, at this point in my journey, there was a point in my journey where I was a type A, I was about controlling everything I was about where I was going, the strategy, the big picture, all the things.
[00:10:16] and I am at a, a different place now. . and I, one of the things I say often is we know in. So I really know, I know in part and so I am much more about paying to life, paying attention to life, and how life is pointing me in the direction that I should be going in and trusting that I'm moving in the direction that I ought to, and that everything is exactly the way it should be.
[00:10:45] That's just how I, I'm moving through life. And so I'm, instead of me saying, I have to do this, I want to do this, I'm going to accomplish this in all these things, I am much more focused on, paying attention to how life is guiding me. and so, you know, my faith and my spirituality are, that's the anchor of my life.
[00:11:13] and so that's, that's really how I can surrender. To the fact that I, trust me, I trust the being that I am. I, I trust the journey that I'm on. I trust the purpose that is in me. and I, and I really look to follow it out. and so I, you know, I pay attention to the, to the little, stirrings in my heart and I lean into those things.
[00:11:42] I pay attention to the things that may not feel so great, like, you know, I'm just constantly paying attention and moving, accordingly. so that's really, a lot of what helps me live a surrendered life. But the big thing is I don't, there's no plan that I'm trying to execute anymore. I, I really relinquished a lot of that.
[00:12:03] so for me it's just a matter of, I, I know that I am here. I know that my purpose is love. I know that that is my calling. I know that that's my spiritual gift and I. Continue just to live out life, and allowing it to flourish in all of the ways that it's going to. But there's no that I'm, I don't have a crystal ball that I can, that I know where it is.
[00:12:30] Right. Hmm. So it's literally paying attention to life and, and sitting in the unfolding for
[00:12:35] Amanda Aminata Sol: me. Yeah. That is, that is, That is really cool, really alternative, you know, to the, to the, the, the goal centered approach. and. It does require then, yeah, at least that hour each day to be paying attention.
[00:13:00] . , you know, I was feeling, I, I went through some feelings this morning and, from something that happened yesterday and, , I felt a little regretful that, oh, why didn't I work with this yesterday? You know, now here it is 24 hours later and now I'm really dealing with it. . .
[00:13:24] Jasmine: but,
[00:13:27] Amanda Aminata Sol: but I hear what you're saying about when you have that time to be still and to notice pay attention.
[00:13:35] . , then you can see, okay, what needs to be dealt with today or, and you. Where is life pointing me? . . is there an example of that where you feel like life pointed you
[00:13:49] Jasmine: somewhere? Yeah. I mean, I, I can even just talk about the last 24 hours. . . I think for me, I am. Synchronicity is such a big part of my life these days.
[00:14:02] and I would say for the past couple of years, you know, I was listening to a song on Saturday in a, in a group session that I'm in, and the song talks about I'm sending you light to hold you. I'm sending you light to heal you. I'm sending you light to hold you in love. I say that, I say holding you in love all the time.
[00:14:32] . . And so I hear that song. . , I had never heard it before. . . But in that it connected light. In love in healing, you know, I was like, that song could be my theme song, , you know? And so just being able to pay attention to that and to know that there was something there for me, that I could be even more present in that moment, how I heard that song.
[00:15:02] But you know, then I'm in a conversation today completely not connected to that. And the person I'm talking to brings up that idea of being held in love. Right. It's so I'm always paying attention to the little dots that seemingly aren't connected, but I know that they are connected. . , you know, one of the, I I, I think part of the journey is too, I know myself well, and so part of knowing myself well, Clifton's, StrengthFinders will tell you that, of my top five, I have strategic and connectedness, which is a rare combination, but it allows me to see the big picture and the connected dots at the same time.
[00:15:47] So my life is playing out like that on a daily basis where these seemingly random little dots are connecting and sharing a big picture. Or, you know, you know, but that conversation I had today was connected to on a, a morning when I, you know, I don't even remember how I kind of came across an app and really started to enjoy it and thought that, that I, that I thought that this could be a, a good part of my own practices and.
[00:16:20] Then I got a little nudge a week later to reach out to the, the co-founder of that app, and then that led to just a shot, right? Reaching out. They responded today was the conversation. Now we're talking about how to work together, but it's those little, little really quiet nudges, that you get that are, are that, that are, that are me.
[00:16:43] It's me being divinely guided that I'm paying attention to. And not only am I paying attention to it, I'm acting on it. So if I get the, the nudge to reach out to somebody, I'm reaching out to them. I may not know why. I may not know where it's going to go, but I can, I literally can feel it in my body. so I just say that, say I, I, that happens to me all the time where something I'm thinking about.
[00:17:09] Or talking to someone about, somehow it'll show up and manifest in a completely separate thing, and it'll, it'll be my way of knowing that that's the, the path to move down or the thing to pay attention to or to lean in a little bit further. and, and see where that goes. Hmm.
[00:17:29] Amanda Aminata Sol: Yeah. Hmm. . . And you know, one of the things that you said also that stood out for me was you said, I trust myself.
[00:17:42] Yeah. And that's usually
[00:17:45] Jasmine: a journey. And has that, it has been a journey. , ,
[00:17:50] Amanda Aminata Sol: I mean, how many women of a certain age, you know? it's such a beautiful place to arrive at, but it's, it's a . So tell us, would you mind just sharing us, you know, maybe a before and after sometime you didn't trust yourself, but now
[00:18:06] Jasmine: how you do or.
[00:18:08] Yeah, I, you know, I would say I was raised very much in a performative culture, so it was all about the things that, you know, whether it's I got great grades or, you know, I always did all the right things. and that worked for me for a really long time. you know, just having the goals, accomplishing that, like that's, you know, out of corporate career, like all of these things, right.
[00:18:34] Are, are the, the things that we kind of get set. In the beginning that we think is going to create success for us in life. and then I hit a, a, a point in my life where those things weren't necessarily bringing me joy. Like I had all the things. I had it what it was supposed to look like. Like, what, what things did you have?
[00:18:58] So, for me, I had been married for many long, you know, for many years I, I lived in the suburbs. I had, you know, a lovely home. My kids were in private school. I had all those things. But if I didn't feel fully loved and nurtured, then I. What's, what was the point? there was something still missing. and so I, I would say I've been on this journey for the last five years of really, Transforming, like the trans transformation is the biggest word that I, that or the most consistent word that I would say has been part of the journey, but it's been the, the unlearning and the relearning.
[00:19:42] It's been the relinquishing of things. It's been the taking the space. you know, for me it started with a yoga practice. Then it extended into the, a meditation practice. Then it started with creating a rule of. That retreat is a, a practice for me as well. silence and solitude is about it, but a, but a lot of it was I had to take time to get to know myself.
[00:20:09] It, it includes therapy, it includes spiritual direction, it has all of it. But in a lot of ways for me, I, I got to a place where I, I rem, I literally remember after leaving my, my marriage after, at that point 20 years and being like, you know, moving into my new place and hearing there is love greater than you've ever understood.
[00:20:37] And that was the first. You know, you, I argue it's the first step. Obviously it was more before, but that was the one that I remember most definitively and I just started to pay attention to, to hearing that in me.
[00:20:53] Amanda Aminata Sol: Say that again cuz I think that message is important.
[00:20:56] Jasmine: Yeah, just there was love greater than I had ever yet to understand and really being able to pay attention to that and follow that.
[00:21:04] and that was the beginning of me really starting a love practice. It was me becoming. More vulnerable, paying attention to what was going on in, in my mind and in my heart. and, and I would say over time, I call myself a self-love advocate, and a self, a self-love activist. because really understanding what that means to be tender to myself, to see myself, in all of its beauty, to to be most compassionate to myself, to be loving to myself, to not judge the things that might be arising in, in my, in my heart or in my.
[00:21:53] but rather embrace them with curiosity and then, and the, and entrusting that there is healing happening, even when I don't necessarily understand it. so I, all of that stuff started happening, but. I think it really came to life for me when I started to lean into love more and understanding what that might look like to live a life of love.
[00:22:22] and so for me, there was a period where I just started writing. I started a writing practice and I wrote every day, and it was me finding what love is, like all the things that I. Whether it was from a scripture, whether it was from a philosopher, whether it was, from a contemporary thinker and really flushing through all of this, information that was coming toward me and paying more attention to what it was teaching me about love.
[00:22:52] and then really, Filtering that into my life and starting to actually put it into practice. because I think the biggest piece, often is when we think about love, we think about love. That in a, either in a romantic way, we think about with our famili, you know, our, our family and those closest to us, but we don't think about love in.
[00:23:16] As a, as a life force. Mm. And so for me, I, I, I was just on this journey and like I said, writing every day. I, I had about a two hour writing practice almost for a year. That, and I did that every single day. and from there, over time, it was almost as I, as if, as if I was teaching myself, Yeah, with a wor like literally the world full of information, like the amount of information in the world about love is insane, and, but we don't approach it as a study.
[00:23:53] Mm. And there was somewhere in that process, in that journey that I, I remember saying the challenging thing about love that is different from a yoga practice or different from a meditation practice is that when I'm in those practices, I'm on a mat by myself or on a cushion by myself. . . And the only thing I have to deal with is my own mind that chooses it, wants to do something else.
[00:24:17] It's just. But in love, you are operating with others and you are operating with others that you do not control. And so understanding how to. Practice like, you know, it's often said with meditation, like the life is the actual meditation practice. It's not what we do on our cushion, it's actually how we can maintain those, that, that, that posture while we're living.
[00:24:47] It's the same thing with love, but again, you're, it's more of a dance cuz you're doing with other people. And so it really required me to rethink, and reshape, how I saw myself, how I saw others, and as I continued to do that consistently. It started to change my actual lived experience. it, it gave me more peace.
[00:25:14] I found less stress and anxiety. I found much more freedom. and I would just often also say, just much more joy. you know, so all of these things. As I was becoming a student of love and actually taking all the things that I knew to be true in my being to heart and actually living it and committing to living it out.
[00:25:41] It started to change literally my world around me. It, it, it changed the circle of people who are around me. It changed my vocation. I, I never started, I never intended to be in seminary. That was not a plan of mine, , you know? But as I lived a life of love, it kept pointing me further along the path in a journey.
[00:26:05] I feel like we're all over the place with that, but, yeah, it's, it's, well let me,
[00:26:09] Amanda Aminata Sol: let me pop in because I, I want to Yeah. I know our time is coming to a close and I really want to ask you a couple things about, changing culture. Yeah. You know, so, cause I know that that's part of what you do in your corporate life.
[00:26:24] Yeah. So I wonder what you would say. , to folks who have, especially I think there is a tendency for more women to be in sort of d e I or corporate culture kind of spaces, wanting to shift them. . , what's, if you were going to say one, I don't know, I dunno if I want to say one lesson or I, is there a story.
[00:26:55] Where you shifted you and that shifted people around you or were
[00:27:01] Jasmine: Yeah. How about we start there? That's a perfect, perfect. so one, I will say that we started the conversation, right, cuz it started with me in love . . And if it didn't start with me in love, then when my, you know, I, I run the business and my company.
[00:27:17] but I was asked to take on this role to. Transform our culture to a, a culture that was anti-racist. And so for me, When I was, the moment in which I was asked that question was also as I was starting my seminary journey. And so tho it's like I came to work all of a sudden as my full self, everything about me came to bear in solving that complex problem.
[00:27:48] and so as I created this platform called Courageous Conversations, and the goal of it was to walk alongside a d e I typical. Educational training. This was to be more of an embodied communal practice where we sat together as a company and we wrestled with things and we were transformed by the narrative of other people.
[00:28:16] So I did not show up in that space with the intention of changing people. What I bought to the table was an invitation. To be in a communal, courageous conversation. And it's those stories, that engagement, the openness, the exchange that created the bridge, that then transformed culture. It, it wasn't, it wasn't me , you know?
[00:28:48] It was me being a vessel to bring that into a space. And to hold that space for people. But it was, it, I, what I learned is that people were changing, not because of the fact that I created that platform. It was because of what was happening in that container. And so that to me is the powerful thing is that if we can commit to transforming our context just by showing up and bringing our gifts to it, we don't get to determine how the change in transformation actually happens.
[00:29:23] . . And so it, it was, it's almost like you bring your candle, you bring your light into a space, and then you start lighting the candles of others, and then all of a sudden this space becomes more light and less dark. . . , you know? And so I think that was what has blown my mind about it, is how it has, stirred the hearts of other people.
[00:29:47] . , I've had as many as 550 people holding space in these courageous conversations. . . And so the, the things that people are sharing are reverberating literally off of people's. Hearts. . . And that's what's actually opening up the door for transformation. You know, that is exactly my journey.
[00:30:12] And that's something that you
[00:30:13] Amanda Aminata Sol: said at the very early on in this conversation, on my notes I have here, heart-centered life. What is a love centered life versus a problem centered life, you know, or let's say a courageous conversation that is heart-centered or love centered versus problem centered. You know what?
[00:30:34] I just wonder what would you like? let me just give you an example, of a, so let's say a problem at a company is, it could be something institutional like, you know, our customers are X percent of the company's revenue, but our leadership team is all white, for example. You know, some kind of disparity.
[00:30:58] . , in that kind of, how would you bring a heart-centered or love centered conversation as opposed to a problem centered conversation? Or would you approach it differently?
[00:31:11] Jasmine: Yeah, I would just say in general, it's one, it starts with a conversation. And so if we're not, if we haven't created, the opportunity that like, well, let me say it this way.
[00:31:23] Oftentimes there's these things that are happening in our minds that we're not saying out loud. But somehow we expect them to be solved. . So that's why I kind of started with the fact that there actually has to be a conversation. but I would, I, I often encourage people to bring curiosity to these conversations, as opposed to thinking that you have the answer.
[00:31:45] Mm. and because what I believe what happens or what my experience has been is if we can come, if both of us can come to the conversation, have a conversation, share the things that are on our hearts, the concerns, how we're seeing it, then there's an opportunity there for answers to arise. But if we come to the conversation thinking that we have the answer and all we're really trying to do is convince somebody to do what we think they should do.
[00:32:14] . and that's manipulative. So, but, but I will, but I will also say though, in general, when I bring love into these conversations, not judgment, Not, when I can, when I can bring the truth of my story and actually also bring courageous listening to hear the truth of somebody else's story, and we can start to exchange and I can share what my concern might be about the disparity between our, our leadership versus our customers.
[00:32:49] I can share that as a concern. . . I, I, I think we create an opportunity to have an honest en engagement a, about those challenges. I will tell you one of the biggest things that I emphasize in, in, in our culture is dismantling fear. And so when we can dismantle fear, and by bringing love into the context, then we can start to figure out how to actually have problem solving toward real things.
[00:33:19] . You know? but it's, it's, it's all of that. Like a lot of times there's so much silence and so much fear that is actually creating barriers. but the more we can bring love into those situations, the more we can bring curiosity, the more we can. The honesty of our hearts, of the things that are concerning us, and then allow them to, to, to meet .
[00:33:44] then we can figure out together how to solve things. . . Mm. and that's been, my, like, I, I, I think sometimes people are trying to convince you to, for a party line or to, you know, be brainwashed or gas. And so that's where, if we can just be honest about where we are with things, if we can bring the truth to the table, then we can figure out what the answer is together.
[00:34:09] Hmm.
[00:34:11] Amanda Aminata Sol: You know, I did have this, you said that voice said to you at that moment that you don't have, you don't know the extent of what love really is, you know? so I had a little voice say to me at one point. When I was going to talk to my husband about something it said, say something to him like, let's look at this together.
[00:34:32] . , you know . , that is sort of, that is a, that is a very different, it's almost like me saying, I trust you. . , I'm extending you some trust here. . . so much more could be said on this as we know this, this is an ongoing thing about. But I, I just appreciate the other thing you said about dismantling fear.
[00:34:54] . , like a prerequisite is being able to come to the table and dismantle fear. So, and that's probably in us as well as, You know, other people, those other people ?
[00:35:09] Jasmine: Yeah. I mean, I'll just say I'm fearless at this point in my life, right? Oh, okay. There's no, there's nothing, I'm not a, I'm not afraid.
[00:35:17] And so I'm going to say the tough things. I'm, you know, I'm just not afraid. And so, because I'm not afraid, it allows me, that doesn't mean that I'm, that doesn't mean. I'm coming, you know, strong and knocking people. No, I, I, I'm just not afraid of it. If I say something that something's going to happen to me.
[00:35:42] Right. I'm just, I'm just here showing up, being me. I'm going to be kind, I'm going to be gracious. that doesn't mean I won't be challenging. I'm going to share what's on my heart. I'm going to share if something's not connecting. I'm going to bring all my questions to the table, but I'm not afraid to ask the questions.
[00:36:01] I'm not afraid to, to vulnerably share what might be stirring in my heart. I'm that's, I think people silence themselves. Themselves so many, so many times because they're just afraid of something. Yes. And they're just not. Okay. Well,
[00:36:19] Amanda Aminata Sol: let me just say this out loud because here's some of the things that we know we are afraid of.
[00:36:22] Maybe not you, jazzy . But I know people I am, and many people we're afraid of what we're attached to. We're afraid of losing our money. . , so we're afraid of losing jobs. . or, clients if we're in business for ourselves. . , you know, or we're, or, you know, I've had to do with being afraid of losing support or somehow feeling like, you know, if I don't, say the thing that.
[00:36:49] In the dominant narrative about racial justice . , then, I will be canceled. . , you know, so what do you,
[00:36:58] Jasmine: so like I've relinquished all of those things already. I've lost all of those things before . Yes. But, but,
[00:37:05] Amanda Aminata Sol: but you, but you have this job, so you're not afraid of losing your job, for example. No.
[00:37:11] Jasmine: . . . because again, if I really trust that I'm divinely guided, I'm, I'm going to be where I'm supposed to be. Mm
[00:37:21] Amanda Aminata Sol: mm So that's the, that's the foundation. Yeah.
[00:37:26] Jasmine: Got you. Yeah. Wow. There's nothing I'm trying to hold on. There's nothing I'm trying to create on my, there's nothing I am trying to manufacture.
[00:37:35] None of it. But that Okay. But there's, but again, I had to relinquish so many things before to get to a place like this. Yes. Right? Yes. So I've already lost the jobs that I feared. I've changed the friend groups and lost the friend groups. The things that I feared, you know, I, I've had all the things that we generally are fearful of at different points in time.
[00:37:58] Yeah. That in the, the rebuilding of myself. Those fears are already gone because I've already, I've had the growth on the other side of the tension.
[00:38:11] Amanda Aminata Sol: Okay. And this is where we had to start to have this juicy conversation. So about when do you start talking about things that you're in the process of versus when you've come through on the other side?
[00:38:22] Yeah,
[00:38:23] Jasmine: yeah, yeah. yeah, I, I
[00:38:25] Amanda Aminata Sol: wonder, you know, What you would say about, I don't want to be too general, because then it really doesn't help people when you're just so abstract. . . . . But, for example, if you are in a conflict in, you know, your marriage or your job or your child, and you have this and you're a teacher.
[00:38:47] . , it can be very tempting, as you know . to teach about that, to be writing about that in real time. . , you know, and one of the things that you said to me about an author who we were both discussing was, I think she started talking about this too
[00:39:02] Jasmine: soon. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I would say, you know, I'm reading things that I wrote three years ago .
[00:39:09] that are so life giving to me now. . And I know that when I wrote them three years ago that I was, I was, I was divinely inspired to write them. . . but at the same time, They were, they, they, it was, it wasn't necessarily from my own wounding or anything, it was just about what love is. So as I was researching what love is, I could, I had a lived experience that I, that, that made me connect to that thing, but I wasn't speaking out of my own.
[00:39:47] . , I was really speak, I was actually stretching myself to grow to what love is as I was living. . . And so when I go back and I read those things now three years later, I'm just so touched because I can't believe. That, that's where I, like, I know where I was when I wrote them , you know what I mean?
[00:40:09] And then I know where I am now. And so I just say that's, I think there's things you can offer, but we have to be very mindful of, of what's in process for us. Yes. We have to honor ourselves in that sense. Yes. To understand what's been processed for us. you know, and we have to know what our stages of grief are and where we are, in that stage.
[00:40:33] And we have to be honest with ourselves. And if we're not at that place, we're probably not ready to share yet. . .
[00:40:40] Amanda Aminata Sol: . . . . . . Yes.
[00:40:49] Yes. And there's so much, I, I'm just going to wrap us up after this. There's so, it's so easy to overshare before you even realize you've done it. You know what I mean? Just because of the social media 24 7 Yeah. Situation. So, so that, that time with yourself, you know, and, that relinquishing, surrendering.
[00:41:17] To the, the timing that you're on, you know, rather than the external goal. This, it's just, thank you so much. You really have shared so much with us
[00:41:26] Jasmine: today. Thank you. I appreciate the invitation. It's good to hear you. How can people get more of you? So I would say, usually one of the easiest ways is, either Love 1 0 1 Ministries, um.com, or Love 1 0 1 Ministries on Instagram or Facebook.
[00:41:45] . . I, the, the, the, you mentioned the podcast earlier, the Call to Love experience. You can find that on, apple Podcast, Spotify or Anchor. but I would think that those are some of the easiest places to find. Okay, so
[00:42:02] Amanda Aminata Sol: you said Love 101 ministries. Great. Love 101 ministries.
[00:42:07] And then the Call to Love Experience podcast. Yep, podcast. Okay. So you've heard it all here. Thank you
[00:42:14] Jasmine: Thank you.
