How to Get Back up After You Fail

How to Get Back Up After You Fall--3 Steps

Do you remember that moment in The Matrix when Trinity falls and is too terrified to move?  She tells herself "Get up, Trinity, get up!"  She jumps up, and she moves, risking her life to save her life.

Well, there I was lying in bed last night after a failed conversation with a very important person.  My thinking was getting me more and more anxious and was weighing me down.  Thoughts like:  I shouldn't have... I'm screwing up... I'm gonna lose them..."  You get the flavor!

And then I started doing what Tara Brach calls the "Two wings of awareness."  She says notice what you are experiencing--feelings and physical sensations.  As you distinguish each one, gently and lovingly accept each one.  Noticing is like the masculine act.  Accepting with love (not necessarily approving but accepting what's there in a soft way) is a feminine act.  Do them together and you get back into the present.

So I noticed I was feeling alone.  Yes to feeling alone.  I noticed I was feeling mad.  Yes to feeling mad.  I noticed I was feeling scared.  Yes, I accept feeling scared.  Then I noticed that I felt safe.  Yes to safe.

Then I fell asleep which would typically NOT happen without DISTRACTING myself.

This  morning I talked with the important person and admitted that I was trapped by my thoughts.  I shared some of the flavor.  I said I was sorry for causing suffering.  I got defensive.  I noticed I was defending and said that out loud too.  I noticed when my chest felt heavy and  I GOT UP.

Then it hit me.  I'm defending from my own self-condemnation.
I paused to practice noticing again:
I feel sad.  Okay sad.
I feel with myself.  Okay with myself.
I feel anxious.  Okay anxious.
It's okay.

So here are the 3 steps:

1.  Notice what you are feeling.  Distinguish one sensation or feeling at a time.
2.  Accept each feeling or sensation with love or a softness.
3.  Do what comes next out of feeling present.  

Please let me know if this helps by commenting on the blog page and sharing.  

If you want support as you practice this kind of stuff, I hope you'll join me on my 30 Day Meditation Challenge.  We're going to start on Saturday Aug. 29. Register here.  There is no cost, and I'd love to have you.

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Peace and Love,